Hey there! I have so many things to write about. My head is full of ideas, my draft box is bursting. I have started to write 6 Blog posts today. But they don’t want to be finished let alone published yet. Not one of them feels really right today. Those 6 drafts might never be published, I am still happy I started them. But why is it so hard for me to publish things I write? I have never been the most outgoing person in social networks. For me, every article I post is still a display of me, my soul, something very private and vulnerable. To just put it out there for anyone to read is easier said than done.
I haven’t been writing at all lately, because… yes why, really? I had a lot of excuses: I am so busy with work, I have to cook something now, be healthier, go to the gym, meet friends, fly home, or just be by myself, relax, watch a movie. All very important things. But so is this, writing, practicing, sharing.
I am still at a point in my life, where I don’t really know where I will end up, what I will do. I find myself even more excited about even more thing even more often. I am happy at work, new tasks and responsibilities challenge me and I learn a lot. Oh yes, learning, maybe I should go back to University. But also I want to travel. I will need money for that. And actually London is awesome, but so is Germany. And Australia, I still wanted to do another road trip there, but first I have to see South America and Asia. And yes, also I wanted to start settling down somewhere. Welcome Ladies and Gentleman: My head. I know I want to be happy and am happy. So hey: mission accomplished. But there are so many things in life I haven’t done yet. I need to take the Hurricane Turn in Alaska, hike through Ireland, Mountain bike through Sweden, Surf in Hawaii. I will stop myself right here, otherwise I’ll never stop.
I have recently started to learn, what my Mom has actually been telling me for years: LIVE IN THE NOW. It is ok to dream and plan things in the future, also it can be nice to look through old pictures and revel in memories. But the most important time is now. I had to learn, that always looking into the future, without really ever being in the now is not going to make me happy. After all I moved to London to live and work here. I want to enjoy this now. I will never stop dreaming and planning, it is a big part of me to come up with new ideas and realise them, but I feel like I learned to still be relaxed and in the moment.
Writing helps with that. Writing about thoughts and your life, things you do or want to do. It helps digesting so many things and you end up learning stuff about yourself. That is why I write. And that is why I sometimes don’t hit publish, because I am not done learning and never will be, that can be scary but also exciting. 🙂